Let me start this off by saying one thing: I do not condone cheating. With that said, it saved my life. I met my ex husband while we were both Cast Members at Walt Disney World. He was from Indiana and I was from Minnesota. When our college internship was over, I left everything I knew in Minnesota to be with him. My life was a true fairy tale… or so I thought.
I was warned.
His ex girlfriend had actually reached out to me and warned me about his cheating. Not only did he cheat, but he was cheating on her with other guys. I laughed it off and thought she was jealous. But then it happened to me. Just a month or so into our relationship I came home early from work and thought it was weird that he didn’t answer the phone when I called. He always answered. When I walked into our apartment I saw him scrambling to put on his shirt and a guy sitting on our couch who I didn’t know. I was told he was just a friend and they were just “hanging out”.
My trust was broken.
That marked the day that I no longer fully trusted him. However, as a lot of people do, he told me he was sorry and that it wouldn’t happen again. That left me confused because I thought they were “just friends”. I wanted to end our relationship then but I would never hear the end of it if I moved back to Minnesota and I couldn’t afford to be on my own in Indiana. I was stuck.
Eventually, we wind up engaged. Don’t ask me how that happened. I’m sure I convinced myself he loved me and that he had changed. I was wrong.
It happened on my birthday.
We were spending the night at home and he had his phone charging in the bedroom. I had gone back there to get something and he had asked me to bring him his phone. When I unplugged his phone it lit up that he had a text from “muffin”. My heart was instantly shattered. I knew what that meant. He was cheating. I played dumb and asked him who muffin was. It was a guy. He gave me every excuse in the book.
We were engaged though. My broken heart couldn’t take the criticism if I called it off. I cried for hours. He told me it wouldn’t happen again. I thought I had no choice but to believe him.
We had a fairy tale wedding.
Since we met working for Disney, we had a Disney Wedding. My dream wedding. He had convinced me he was a changed man. I even put in my vows the line that I promised to “trust him” and when I said it I distinctly remember giving him a look that was impossible to mistaken what it was regarding. We were “happily” married for two years. Then he got a promotion at work.
He started traveling for work quite a bit. It became more and more. Towards the end he was home maybe 1 day a month, if that. I was lonely, I was scared, I had major trust issues and it was taking quite a toll on me mentally. It was showing at my job and no matter what I did, I couldn’t kick the funk I was in. I just felt like he was cheating again.
He left his Facebook logged in.
On the one day he was home, he was on our shared computer and left his Facebook log in. I’m not proud to admit this but I suppose it all brought things into perspective. I read through every message he had. He had multiple guys he was cheating on me with. He never stopped cheating on me.
Instead of being a man about it, he ran from his marriage. He ran from me and he ran from our joint responsibilities. He decided we were going to “separate”.
I told my parents EVERYTHING.
They were so supportive. We immediately hired a lawyer and filed for divorce. But honestly, without his cheating and walking out, I’m not sure I would have ever had the courage. I’m a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason”. Although, if you asked me what the reason was that I had to go through that, I would never have been able to tell you.
Happiness and Love are REAL.
I put myself out there. Dating is hard. I’ve never been good at it and man, did I have some serious issues some poor man was going to have to understand. But I learned to love myself again and in doing so, found a true man. A man I couldn’t love more, who bends over backwards for our family on a daily basis.
Without going through hell, I wouldn’t have our absolutely AMAZING daughter. She is the light of my entire world. I wouldn’t have the worlds sweetest stepson. I’ve literally never known of an almost 15 year old boy who is so caring. My life is beautiful and in some twisted way, I have my ex to thank for that.
Thank you for putting me through hell so I know how to appreciate my husband now. For walking out on us so I learned how to confide in my family. Thank you for giving up on us. I never want to make the people I love feel the way you made me.